The rule
When someone has done well, say so in front of the people who matter to them, and use their name. When someone has got it wrong, wait, take them aside and tell them there. This holds for colleagues, friends, children and waiters alike. It holds when you're right, and most of all when you're annoyed.
Why it matters
Praise is worth more with an audience, and costs you nothing. A correction in front of others does the opposite: the person stops hearing the point and starts thinking about who's watching, and everyone else in the room learns what it's like to be on the wrong side of you. Said quietly, the same words can fix the problem and leave the other person's dignity where it was.
How to do it well
- When you're credited for a group's work, name the people who did it, out loud, before anyone asks.
- If something has to be said at once, to stop a real mistake or keep someone safe, say only that much and save the rest for later.
- Let small errors of grammar, fact or pronunciation go by. If it will cost them not to know, tell them afterwards.