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Gentleman Coded
The Code · At the table

Thank the kitchen, not just the waiter.

By Rupert Ashcombe · 1 minute read

The rule

When a meal has been very good, say so, and say it to someone who can pass it on. A line for the kitchen costs you nothing, and it's often the only thanks the people who cooked your dinner will hear all week.

Why it matters

Restaurants run on people you never see. Noticing them is simply good manners, and it's the mark of someone who treats a meal as the work of many hands, rather than a service he has bought.

How to do it well

  1. Ask your waiter to pass on your thanks to the kitchen, and be specific about the dish you loved.
  2. Thank whoever served you by name, if you've learned it.
  3. At someone's home, thank whoever actually did the cooking, not just the person who poured the wine.