The rule
Check the bill, by all means. Mistakes happen and you are entitled to pay for what you ordered. But do it once, quickly and quietly, and then let it go. Poring over a total in front of the person who served you tells them, and your guests, that the evening was a transaction.
Why it matters
Hosting is the art of making money disappear from the evening. Your guests should remember the food and the conversation, not the arithmetic.
How to do it well
- Glance down the lines once, the way you would read a menu.
- If something is wrong, say so simply and without blame: “I think the second bottle has gone on twice.”
- Better still, settle the bill away from the table before dessert, so it never arrives at all.